Forget about making New Year resolutions … at least for a week or two.

This is the time of year when blogs are stuffed with advice for making and keeping New Year resolutions. While the beginning of a new year entices us with its blank slate of opportunities, I suggest that we avoid the temptation to craft our resolutions until we have had some time for our resolutions to take shape.

For the rest of the month, start each day with an intention—intention to do something that day. Choose something that is important to you. Make it something that will make completing it make you feel good. Put it at the top of your “to do” list today and every day for the rest of the month.

Keep track of these daily intentions for they are your markers for creating your goals for the New Year.

As I read over the list of the jobs Money magazine and salary.com consider to be the top 20 jobs for those of us over 50 who are looking for a career change, I wondered how others felt when they read that they might consider entering retail sales, becoming a medical records recording technician or a day care center teacher.

Is this the type of work you had in mind for your next career?

There were some suggestions that did not insult the experience and expertise of the midlife career changer - college professor, financial adviser, non-profit executive. But lists like this distort the work options for midlife career changers.

Career advice has not kept pace with changes in the workplace…and in the workers. It is time to redesign the model for finding work - at any age. Rather than trying to fit in to occupations/jobs in demand, we should take a look at our skills, interests and experiences and figure out how we might redesign them to better fit our current situations and then, and only then, craft a plan for finding places to put them to good use.

On Sunday I attended a party, as a guest of the well-known career counselor and friend, Victoria Zenoff, to celebrate Dick Bolles’ 80th birthday. It was a special treat as I had not meet Dick before but like most career counselors have numerous editions of his bestselling book, What Color Is Your Parachute?.

There were many well wishers at the party, as would be expected. When I was introduced to Dick’s daughter, I asked her if her father had been involved in her job hunting. She replied that since she was a psychotherapist she did not need his wise counsel. This reminded me how useful this classic book on job-hunting is to those who are searching for a job, and how Dick has shown them how important informational interviews are to a successful job hunt.

When I looked around the room and saw many of the names in the career counseling field, I wondered who would be picking up the mantle to continue lending a hand to those looking for new work.

Being rejected is a great time…

for reassessing and readjusting,even when you feel like retreating and retiring.

To many people, work is a four-letter word that has numerous negative meanings. Work is bad. Work cannot be fun. Work should not be fun. Work is work.

What can we do to cast off or at least balance these negative beliefs with some positive thoughts about work? How can we begin to think of work in a different way? One way is to use the new rules of work to our advantage. For example, jobs are less prescribed than they have been in the past, offering individuals the freedom to shape their work. Rather than fitting into “an occupation” or “a job”, we often have the opportunity to have some say in the design of the work we do.

Think of the last time that you applied for a “job”. Were you given a job description? At the interview were you told that it was difficult to spell out the requirements of the job in the job description because everything was changing so quickly, that by the time the job description had been approved, it was somewhat outdated? Or maybe you were hired to do “a job” and the first responsibility was to figure out what needed to get done.

So instead of complaining about the hiring manager, who may seem clueless about the particulars of “a job”, why not view this as an invitation to design work that works for you?

Recently I was talking with a person who told me that she could not stand the work she is doing. She explained that just getting to work had become an arduous task, and then once there her tolerance for “the place” was approaching zero. And, it wasn’t just the work that was driving her crazy, it was also the people.

I asked her why she stayed.

“It is the money, the security. No, really it is because I have no clue what else I might do for work.”

Sound familiar?

Many clients tell me that although they are unhappy in their jobs, they stay in them because they do not know what else they might do. They have convinced themselves that they would leave if only they knew where to go. While it is true that they feel stuck, it is not true that they are clueless about their next work.

How to get unstuck?

Stop. Look. Listen.

It has been a month since I let you go.
It has been an eternity since I held you close.

How could something so small occupy so much space?
Creating an emptiness that is just that.

Remembering the good times when you were circling my feet-reminding me that it was time to take a break from whatever and spend time with you.

Holding you in my arms and telling you that it was going to be “ok” – all the time knowing that it was not.

Pretending now that it is only a matter of time before you will be back home.  Knowing that you have already returned – as ashes.

You are in my heart.  You fill my memory with so much joy and sadness.  I have lost a dear friend…

Change is good. How often have we heard or have we tried to convince ourselves that this is true. If change is so good, why can it feel so bad?

Transitions involve leaving something behind in order to move forward. Most of us dislike having to lose something—even if it might mean that we gain something different as a result. It is uncomfortable. It can be lonely. It is often scary.

Making a career transition is not for the faint of heart. This is not the time to go solo – it helps to have a guide.

Understanding the process of making a career change can be helpful in regaining our balance.

• Change is gradual. It sneaks up on us. One day we find ourselves less comfortable in our well-worn clothes. Things feel different.
• Change is liberating. It gives us the freedom to reach for something better.
• Change is disruptive. It forces us to find different ways of being.
• Change is revealing. It offers us the opportunity to reflect- to remember, retool and to rehearse for what’s next.

Change is trying on new behaviors, experimenting before knowing precisely what it is that we want to become.
Change is grieving what didn’t happen, what disappointed, what left…

Is it any wonder that people stay in work they have outgrown?

What is the purpose of a performance review? Is it really intended to provide feedback on how well you are performing or is it a tool to provide feedback on what you should be doing better? Is its purpose to applaud your strengths or pinpoint your weaknesses?

When starting a job search the usual drill is to update the resume and then to start looking for new work.

There is a better way that starts and ends with you.

You are in the market for a new job because you are dissatisfied, unhappy – perhaps miserable with you current job. Maybe you have been thinking about making a change for some time…and that last meeting with your boss reinforced the need to make a move.

Resist the urge to update your resume.

It has almost become (second nature) to start a job search by updating your resume, but this really is not the best place to begin. A better approach is to start by paying attention to where you are.

This is a great time for noticing what you do not like about the work you are doing, where you are doing it or (perhaps) the people with whom you are working. There are messages all around you that can help you design work that works better for you. Pay attention to what you like about your job, as well as what you dislike. By doing so you will be in a much better place to start designing new work.