Being rejected is a great time…

for reassessing and readjusting,even when you feel like retreating and retiring.

To many people, work is a four-letter word that has numerous negative meanings. Work is bad. Work cannot be fun. Work should not be fun. Work is work.

What can we do to cast off or at least balance these negative beliefs with some positive thoughts about work? How can we begin to think of work in a different way? One way is to use the new rules of work to our advantage. For example, jobs are less prescribed than they have been in the past, offering individuals the freedom to shape their work. Rather than fitting into “an occupation” or “a job”, we often have the opportunity to have some say in the design of the work we do.

Think of the last time that you applied for a “job”. Were you given a job description? At the interview were you told that it was difficult to spell out the requirements of the job in the job description because everything was changing so quickly, that by the time the job description had been approved, it was somewhat outdated? Or maybe you were hired to do “a job” and the first responsibility was to figure out what needed to get done.

So instead of complaining about the hiring manager, who may seem clueless about the particulars of “a job”, why not view this as an invitation to design work that works for you?

Recently I was talking with a person who told me that she could not stand the work she is doing. She explained that just getting to work had become an arduous task, and then once there her tolerance for “the place” was approaching zero. And, it wasn’t just the work that was driving her crazy, it was also the people.

I asked her why she stayed.

“It is the money, the security. No, really it is because I have no clue what else I might do for work.”

Sound familiar?

Many clients tell me that although they are unhappy in their jobs, they stay in them because they do not know what else they might do. They have convinced themselves that they would leave if only they knew where to go. While it is true that they feel stuck, it is not true that they are clueless about their next work.

How to get unstuck?

Stop. Look. Listen.

It has been a month since I let you go.
It has been an eternity since I held you close.

How could something so small occupy so much space?
Creating an emptiness that is just that.

Remembering the good times when you were circling my feet-reminding me that it was time to take a break from whatever and spend time with you.

Holding you in my arms and telling you that it was going to be “ok” – all the time knowing that it was not.

Pretending now that it is only a matter of time before you will be back home.  Knowing that you have already returned – as ashes.

You are in my heart.  You fill my memory with so much joy and sadness.  I have lost a dear friend…

Change is good. How often have we heard or have we tried to convince ourselves that this is true. If change is so good, why can it feel so bad?

Transitions involve leaving something behind in order to move forward. Most of us dislike having to lose something—even if it might mean that we gain something different as a result. It is uncomfortable. It can be lonely. It is often scary.

Making a career transition is not for the faint of heart. This is not the time to go solo – it helps to have a guide.

Understanding the process of making a career change can be helpful in regaining our balance.

• Change is gradual. It sneaks up on us. One day we find ourselves less comfortable in our well-worn clothes. Things feel different.
• Change is liberating. It gives us the freedom to reach for something better.
• Change is disruptive. It forces us to find different ways of being.
• Change is revealing. It offers us the opportunity to reflect- to remember, retool and to rehearse for what’s next.

Change is trying on new behaviors, experimenting before knowing precisely what it is that we want to become.
Change is grieving what didn’t happen, what disappointed, what left…

Is it any wonder that people stay in work they have outgrown?